Seek First to Understand - Summer Sibling Squabbles

Seek first to understand, then be understood.  Habit 5 is so much easier said than done.  The hardest place to practice this habit is probably the best place to practice it...you know what I am going to say...home.  Today a friend made me laugh when I read her Facebook post.  She said the way to get her children to stop fighting is by coming in and yelling, because then the kids unite against the evil mother.  I have been in that role so many times!  So the other day I decided to get messy and work with my teens at home with their listening skills when they were at each other.  The initial reaction was that they united against me and told me to stop treating them like they were in third grade.  I said, "Actually, although a third grader can learn to listen, this is a very adult skill."  They glared.
Let's see if I can sum up the exchange in a shortened version.
Me:  Child One, say what you want to say.  Child Two, listen, because you are going to repeat it back.
Child One:  Well he said...
Me:  Talk directly to Child Two, I am just here to moderate your conversation.  Try starting with "I feel..."
Child One talks.  Child Two talks back instead of repeating what he heard Child One say.
We start over.
Child One talks directly to Child Two, and I have Child Two answer, starting with the phrase, "So you are saying that..."
Repeat of steps with Child Two talking to Child One.
Repeat of all steps multiple times, with Child One and Child Two still getting in their jabs and cut-downs at first.
Things finally are less escalated.  They start to listen and repeat.
I see my window of opportunity.
"Now that you have both heard each other, how can we think win-win?"
***
It wasn't perfect, but it worked.
We aren't riding off into the Covey model family sunset.  Not even close.
I still know how to yell and tell them to be quiet.  But we are working at it.  Sometimes.
And that is how the habit of listening is developed.